The Incredible Shrinking Jack
by Fear Herself
Summary: After an encounter with a group of aliens, Jack finds himself shrunk down to nine inches tall. And now with Weevils everywhere, the aliens looking for Jack & a low coffee supply, Torchwood finds themselves with one of their biggest threats yet! NO FLAMES!
1. Ch 1: Stranger Things Have Happened

**A/N: I WAS BORED, OKAY!? No flames please!  
My Torchwood info will soon be better because the Space network is starting to air TW from the start, enjoy!**

**Chapter One: Stranger Things Have Happened**

**-------------**

Strange things happen in Cardiff.

But due to the media's influence, many people dismiss it as a hallucination from drugged water.

And for those who do figure out what's really going in their city, Captain Jack Harkness prescribes a dose of Retcon and some sleep.

Once you do that, you'll forget all about him, his team and the aliens.

Nothing says safe like a trigger-happy secret organization, am I right?

-------------

Those were Gwen Cooper's thoughts from time to time about Torchwood.

When she was a police officer, she had seen her share of senseless violence, blood, death, but that was child's play compared to what happened here.

She'd seen her friends die, one twice. She'd seen the truth, and secretly, she was terrified.

Weevils, Daleks, they were all real.

No drugs in the water, no hoaxes, all of it existed.

"Gwen, are you even listening to me?" An American accent called drawing her out of her thought bubble.

She looked up at Jack who sat in front of her in the SUV.

"Sorry, I was just...thinking..." She murmured and turned her attention back to the window.

"Think later, we've got a group of alien downtown." He said as Ianto Jones pulled the SUV to a stop outside a dark building.

"Right." She muttered as she slid out.

"Okay, try not to get injured, they often steal weapons and are hostile when they have them."

The two nodded to him as they slipped in.

--------------

Jack slid silently away from Ianto and Gwen. The two knew Jack would be investigating alone.

He walked down a hallway being careful not to give his position away.

He felt a tug on his arm, pulled his gun out and spun around.

No one was there.

He pulled again, he was still stuck.

_'Great, my coat's stuck.' _He thought. He slipped out of it and pulled again.

"Freeze." A voice said.

Jack ignored it, spun around and pointed his gun at the creature.

Before he could shoot, he felt a jolt go through his body he stumbled backwards slightly. Quickly, he straitened up and shot.

He heard the bullet enter and saw a splash of blood. Jack reached over to grab his coat. He was sure others had heard the shot and were now coming.

He pulled his coat off the wall with a little resistance and put it back on.

Immediately, he noticed there was a problem.

The sleeves of the coat covered his hands and the back part touched the floor.

Just then, his Bluetooth beeped.

"Jack, we heard a gun shot, are you alright?" A frantic Welsh woman asked. Jack gulped.

"Gwen, Ianto, get outside, I think I have a little problem, literally." He said.


	2. Ch 2: Dignity is Over Rated

**A/N: Okay, this story isn't the best thing I've written, but I'm enjoying writing it!  
Oh yes, there IS Janto in this story. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Two: Dignity is Over Rated**

**_____________________**

Gwen and Ianto had not been far from the entrance and scrambled out quickly.

"We need to find Jack," Ianto said as he leaned against the car, panting. "he could be in trouble."

"Jack ordered us out, he'll be here. I know it." Gwen said.

The two heard light footsteps and looked to the entrance of the building as Jack stumbled out.

"Oh god…" Gwen said as she covered her mouth. If he stood next to her, he'd probably only reach her thigh. He still had his coat on, but it dragged along behind him and the sleeves hit the ground making him look like a child playing dress-up.

Much to Ianto's disappointment, the rest of the clothes he had on were shrinking with him.

"What the hell happened?" Gwen asked, her shock dieing down a little.

"I'll explain at the Hub, just get in the car!" He ordered. She expected his voice to be higher, but he sounded the same as always, just further away.

Ianto reacted quickly and pulled the driver's door open and climbed in. Gwen bent over to pick up Jack, but he shifted away.

"Don't pick me up Gwen; I want to keep a little dignity." He grunted. Gwen ignored him and scooped him up into her arms. He thrashed and kicked to get out of her grip.

"GWEN! Put me down or you're on Weevil duty until-"

"Jack, stop it. I don't care about your dignity; I care about getting you back to the Hub safely." She said as she got in the SUV.

She sat next to Ianto with the now three foot tall Jack. She placed him in the seat behind her.

"Need any help?" She offered. Jack sent her a glower. "I'm not three, I can handle this myself." He said. "Besides, I'm immortal, even if I die-"

"Just put your damn seat belt on Harkness."

Jack glared again as he put it on. Ianto smiled as they began to drive.

"Jack, I have to admit this, you look very cute right now." Ianto said trying to cheer him up. Jack sighed. "Thanks Ianto." He murmured.

It wasn't until then that it struck Gwen.

"Jack, are you still shrinking?" She asked. The answer was one she didn't expect.

"Yes."

"Wait, are you going to end up the incredible shrinking man?" Ianto asked frantically.

"No Ianto." Jack said. Gwen looked at him. "Then how tall will you be?" She asked.

'_Well, my dignity is already in the toilet, I've got nothing to lose.' _Jack thought.

"Nine inches." He said. There was an awkward pause in the car.

After about five minutes, Ianto spoke.

"Look on the bright side Jack; I'm pretty sure Barbie dumped Ken."


	3. Ch 3: Should Have Known…

**A/N: Wee! I'm loving this, it's so much fun, enjoy! Oh and thanks for the reviews!**

**Chapter Three: Should Have Known…**

**_____________________**

Ianto parked the car outside the tourist office and climbed out. Gwen followed as she again (much to his annoyance) scooped up Jack.

"Gwen, I can walk, you don't have to carry me." He said. Gwen looked at her boss in her arms. "Yes, but you're two-and-a-half feet tall, it'll be twice as long a walk and you'll be exhausted." She explained.

"Fine, but can Ianto carry me then?" He asked as he winked at Ianto.

"If Ianto's okay with it." Gwen said. Ianto immediately reached out towards Gwen. She handed Jack to the tea-boy.

Ianto promptly put Jack down getting a grateful look from him and a glare from Gwen.

"Should have known…" She muttered as they entered the Hub. Jack quickly ran to Tosh's old computer just to discover he was too short to reach it. He cursed as he tried to jump up to it.

"Aw, does Jack need some help?" Gwen said in mock pity. Jack ignored her and continued to try and get to the keyboard. Ianto pushed past Gwen and bent down next to Jack.

"Jack, you're going to exhaust yourself." He said. Jack stopped jumping and turned to face the now rather large Ianto. Sweat was dripping down his face and he was panting.

"I can lift you up if you want." Ianto offered. The now two foot tall Jack nodded.

"Thanks for asking." He said as he sent a small (yet still menicing) glare to Gwen.

Ianto wrapped his hands around Jack's waist, picked him up and placed him on the computer desk.

"Ianto," He started. "can you search L-A-R-K-I-A-N for me?" He asked. Ianto nodded as he did so.

"Larkian, Jack, what's that?" Gwen asked as she moved next to the two men.

"I had the species wrong, Larkians are traders the aliens I though we had are much more hostile." He explained.

"More hostile? Jack, you're two feet tall and getting shorter!" Gwen yelled. Ianto shushed her.

"Larkians have physic compression guns-"

"You mean a shrink ray?" Gwen asked. Jack shrugged. "Call it whatever you want, it's the same thing. They use it to minimize other creatures so they can sell them on the black market." He explained. Gwen & Ianto shared a worried look.

"Jack," Ianto started.

"Yes?" Jack said, tilting his head to the side. Gwen took a deep breath, then said,

"You said they sell what they shrink on the black market, right?"

"Yes, why are you two staring at me like that?" He said with his arms folded across his chest.

"Because," Ianto said, worry in his voice. "doesn't that mean they'll come looking for you?"


	4. Ch 4: Paging Doctor Jones

**A/N: Wow, I opened my inbox to find 13 e-mails from this site telling me about favorites, alert lists & comments for my stories!  
By the way; this is pre-Equally Cursed & Blessed, but this chapter gives a hint to some of the mysteries in that story...  
ENJOY!**

**Chapter Four: Paging Doctor Jones**

**______________________**

Jack's face became a little shocked.

"They could probably get quite a bit of money for you Jack, a mini-immortal." Ianto explained.

"But we don't know if they know about his immortality." Gwen commented.

"They do. " Jack said. "In the early 70's we had about ten come to Cardiff, one took my gun and shot me and saw me come back. A few got away and that one was one of them."

There was a moment of silence. Ianto looked down to where Jack stood. He guessed he was almost a foot and a half now.

"We need help." Gwen finally declared. Jack and Ianto looked at her. "If we've got a bunch of aliens traders armed with shrink rays and our Captain is nine inches tall, we're going to need some extra help. Call Martha." She ordered. Jack nodded.

"Good idea Gwen." He said. "I'll call her." Ianto gave him an odd look.

"Jack, can you even hold the phone?" He asked. Jack -being stubborn as hell- stomped towards the edge on the computer. Ianto, sensing his next move, quickly grabbed Jack again. He held him with both hands around his stomach.

"Ianto! I'm perfectly capable of doing everything I could do before, stop picking me up!" He yelled while making a rather sad attempt at escaping the giant tea-boy. Gwen tried to hide a small smile. Jack was absolutely adorable at that size.

"Jack, we just want to help, I'll just take you to the phone and you can call Martha, I'll just help you up." Ianto tried to reason. Jack, with am even bigger blow to his dignity, sighed. "Alright." He said. Ianto smiled at him as he carried him to the phone. Jack just glared. He loved Ianto but god -this was over the top.

Ianto placed him next to the phone. Jack dusted himself off, sent another glare to Ianto and walked over to it. He slapped each button with the palm of his hand and pushed the phone off the receiver.

**________________**

Doctor Martha Jones looked at the woman lying in the clear chamber. The woman she had helped create.

"_You might not be completely her, but they'll love you just the same, I know it." _She thought.

This was so wrong, she was betraying the people she trusted, but she was doing it to help one of their own, didn't that matter too?

As if to distract her from the pain she was feeling, her phone rang. She saw the ID and gulped.

**CALLING: **Jack Harkness

She walked out of the lab as she flipped her phone open and put on her best happy attitude.

"Hello Jack, how's it going over there?" She said.

"Martha, we need you're help." A faint voice said. Martha tensed a little, Jack didn't even say "voice of a nightingale", something was defiantly wrong.

"Jack, are you okay?" She asked. Jack didn't answer right away, worrying her. After the pause, he said, "We're under staffed. How soon can you be in Cardiff?"

Martha thought. She could probably give a good excuse to the general to let her go to Torchwood, and it would be about an hour's flight from where she was currently.

"I'll be there later tonight." She said. "Thanks, it would be a great help." He answered as she hung up. Martha closed her eyes for a moment.

What could have Captain Jack Harkness worried?


	5. Ch 5: Coffee is Essential

**A/N: Wow, I update too much...never thought I'd say that! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Five: Coffee is Essential**

**________________________**

Jack sat down when he heard the dial tone. It was going to be beyond humiliating to explain this to Martha. Ianto pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. Jack was about one foot and three inches now; he'd be at nine inches by the time Martha got there.

"Ianto, can I talk to you for a moment?" Gwen asked. Ianto nodded as he followed her to the kitchenette.

"What are we going to do?" She asked. "We can't possibly take Jack with us on any missions, he'd get stepped on! And how do we reverse-"

"Gwen, calm down, Martha's a doctor; she'll know what to do about Jack…condition. Plus, she'll assist us since we can't bring Jack." Ianto told her. Gwen nodded, then said, "But what about here? We can't possibly leave him in the Hub, Myfanwy might eat him!" Gwen pointed out. Ianto thought for a moment.

"I could take him to my apartment tonight, he'd be safe there." He offered. Gwen nodded. "Fine. Do you think you could make some coffee while you're in here?" He smiled at her. "Sure."

**_________________________**

_Two hours later…_

Ianto brought out another round of coffee. It was their fifth. Ianto felt bad for Jack. Obviously, he knew a regular cup would be too big, and while looking for a smaller one Ianto had stumbled across a thimble. He had no idea where it had come from, but it was just the right size for Jack, so he put a drop of coffee in it and gave it to his humiliated boss.

The now nine inch tall Jack sat on the couch next to Ianto & Gwen. It was odd looking up at Gwen since he usually had to look down to see her.

Just then, the sound of the invisible lift coming down caused them all to turn their heads to see Martha Jones entering the Hub.

"Hi Gwen, hello Ianto!" She called. "Where's Jack? He called me earlier today, said it was urgent."

Jack shifted to try to hide behind Gwen, she glared at him.

"Hi Martha." Gwen said as she got up leaving Jack in the open. He quickly scrambled to hide behind Ianto.

Ianto stood up as well. He bent over and picked up Jack.

"You know I don't want to do this, but I know you'll make a break for it if I don't hold you." He whispered to him. Jack squirmed but Ianto's grip didn't losen.

"Hello Martha." Ianto then said as he turned to the doctor. She smiled. "What's that you've got there?" She asked. Ianto stuck his hand out to show Martha the tiny Captain he was holding. She gasped.

"Hi Martha…" Jack sighed.


	6. Ch 6: Friends NEVER Listen

**A/N: Thanks to everybody who has reveiwed/alerted/favorited this story! You all rock!  
Enjoy!**

**Chapter Six: Friends NEVER Listen**

**_______________________**

"Jack?" Martha asked, Jack sighed.

"Yes." He said blankly. Martha leaned down to get to eye level. "What the hell happened?" She asked.

"It's a long story." Gwen answered, knowing Jack wouldn't want to explain. Jack squirmed again in Ianto's grip. He grunted.

"Ianto, for the last time, PUT ME DOWN!"

Ianto obeyed and placed his friend on the desk they stood by. Martha leaned over to look at Jack face-to-face. She let out a small smile. "God, you're adorable!"

Jack pouted. "This isn't funny." He said. Martha's face grew serious.

"You're right," She said in her solider mode. "sorry, it's just…you're about…seven inches-""Nine" Ianto pointed out.

"Sorry, you're nine inches tall and it makes you look incredibly cute. So what do you need me to do?" She asked.

"We'll need you to assist us when we have any rift or weevil activity." Jack said. Gwen gave him a look.

"Also, do you think you could perform a medical examination on Jack?" She asked. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"I don't need one Gwen, I feel fine. And even if there was something wrong with me, it wouldn't do too much bad." He explained. Gwen's facial expression hardened.

"Yes, but who says the Larkians haven't done this to anybody else? Let Martha examine you so we can just be sure, plus, she may find out how they did this and how to reverse it." She explained.

"Alright." He sighed as he walked towards the edge of the desk again. Martha reached out and grabbed him before he could jump. She held him in her hand as he squimered to get out of her grip.

"Martha Jones, put me down!" He yelled. Martha didn't obey.

"Sorry Jack, but if you get hurt or break something, your immortal genes will erase any side affects of whatever did this." She said as she walked towards the medic bay. Jack sighed.

This was going to be a long night.


	7. Ch 7: Punishment

**A/N: I'm sorry for this crappy chapter. I'm really tired. Little kids have boundless energy.  
I don't.  
Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seven: Punishment**

**______________________**

Jack shot up with a sharp breath. The other three people in the room let out sighs of relief.

"Oh thank god." Martha gasped. Gwen and Ianto crouched next to Jack's small form on the medic bay table. He pushed himself up and looked at them. He knew those faces.

He had died.

Again.

"Jack, I am so sorry. I should have known…" Martha said. It hit him then. Martha had been taking a blood sample and had taken too much. She had forgotten he probably only had a half a cup of blood in him. Gwen and Ianto had rushed in when she realized he had almost no blood left.

Jack walked over to her hand which sat on the edge of the table. He picked up a finger and held it between his hands. Martha looked down.

"Martha, it's fine, I'm not dead…well I was, but, well, you know." He smiled at her. "Besides, now you have more than enough to do your tests."

Martha bent down to him.

"But Jack, if I can't even take the right amount of blood from you, what if I have to take it from others who could have been affected, mortals who could die?" She asked. Jack pulled her finger closer.

"Martha, I have complete confidence in your medical skills, you're a fantastic doctor and you would never do this on purpose, I'm sure you won't make the mistake again." He said.

Martha nodded as he let go of her finger. She turned back to the medical desk with the bag with too much blood in it.

Jack's words hadn't comforted her. He didn't know the truth.

She had taken too much blood on purpose.

**________________________________**

"Gwen, this is not funny!" Jack yelled. Gwen giggled.

"Oh, you're being overly dramatic Jack." She grinned. He glared from the clear glass she had placed over him.

"Gwen, what the hell are you doing?" Ianto asked as he came out of the kitchenette. He took the glass off of Jack. Gwen gave a sheepish smile. "I was just kidding around." She said. Ianto rolled his eyes as he grabbed Jack off the table. "This is better than the glass." He muttered as he glared again at Gwen. Ianto walked back into the kitchenette and placed him down on the small counter. He went back to rinsing out cups.

After a long pause, Ianto finally spoke.

"Jack, Gwen and I were talking earlier-"

"Oh god, what are you two planning?" Jack asked.

"Obviously, we can't leave you here tonight, so I'm taking you home with me."

Jack looked up at Ianto. Normally, he would have loved to go with the tea-boy, but at this size, it was more like a punishment.


	8. Ch 8: Expectations

**A/N: Chapter Eight, or as I call it, the better than chapter seven chapter!  
I put a poll on my profile about a sequel.  
Why?  
Because depending on the outcome the ending would be diffrent, so knowing now would be easiest.  
Without further Ado-  
Further Ado: reviewers get waffels.  
Enjoy!**

**Chapter Eight: Expectations **

**______________________**

"Doctor Jones, I assume you got the blood sample."

"Yes sir, I'll send it tonight."

"You've done well Martha, better than I expected for a friend of The Doctor."

Martha Took a deep breath.

"Thank you sir." She said as she hung up her cell phone. She walked up the small stair case in the medic bay and back to the main Hub. Only Gwen was there.

"Hey." She said as Martha entered. She smiled back.

"Where are Ianto and Jack?" She asked.

"I told them they should go home, we haven't gotten any rift activity so far. I said I was going to stay."

"And his reaction?"

"Jack's hiding in the archives."

Martha's face went blank.

"Ianto told me to keep an eye on Rift activity, plus, he's the only person who can't get lost down there." She explained. Martha nodded.

"I'll check around here…" She said as she walked back to the medic lab.

This was the best chance she'd get at getting the blood sample out of there.

**___________________**

"Jack, this is not funny."

Ianto looked underneath one of the bins.

Nothing.

"This is for your own good." He called.

When he got no response, he sighed. Why did he have to be so stubborn.

_Crash!_

A loud sound and a faint chorus of curses made Ianto turned around and walked towards a bin. He looked into it to see Jack lying on his back on top of a few fallen objects. Ianto put both hands in and gently picked him up. For once he didn't fight him.

"Are you okay?" Ianto asked.

"I'm fine." He grunted. There was a silence.

"You can't keep doing that Jack," Ianto said after a while. "we just want to help."

"Yan, I know that, but you're treating me like a child. I'm capable of doing everything I could before, you don't have to worry. Trust me."

Ianto stopped walking and looked down at Jack. He had a pleading look on his face. He bent down as he placed him on the floor, prepared for if he ran off again.

He didn't.

Instead, he smiled.

"Thank you."


	9. Ch 9: Departures

**A/N: This is a bit of a filler chapter, the next one will be better.  
Oh yes, voting on the poll is still open, I'd really apreciate it if you'd vote!  
Without further ado-  
Further ado; Reviewers and those who vote in the poll get waffels AND syrup.  
****Enjoy!  
**

**Chapter Nine: Departure**

**_______________________**

"Am I the only person who is concerned that someone might step on him?"

"Gwen, relax, even if I do-"

Gwen rolled her eyes. This was getting tiresome. She bent over and picked him up.

"Gwen! We agreed you'd stop that!" He yelled as he tried to get out of her grip.

He and Ianto had come out of the archives about ten minutes ago. Martha was working in the medic bay and Ianto had wandered off to make one last round of coffee before he left.

Aside from the fact that Jack was nine inches tall, things seemed to be normal.

Or, as normal as they can get with a team of Alien catchers.

"I know," She said. "but you're so cute like this." Jack grunted. No one was taking him seriously. Gwen seemed to think this was hilarious. He made a mental note that when they fixed this, he'd show Gwen what this was like.

Ianto came out from the kitchenette with two cups of coffee. He handed one to Martha then walked over to Gwen. He glared.

"Gwen, put him down." He ordered. Gwen placed Jack on the desk. He glared at her.

"If you pick me up again you'll be on Weevil duty for eternity and then some."

Ianto sighed, it wasn't cute anymore, Jack was frustrated and annoyed, seeing that hurt him more than when he saw him die for the first time.

Swallowing that thought. He tapped him on the back.

"Can you threaten Gwen later, I'm leaving and unless you want to go with her, so are you."


	10. Ch 10: The Woman Next Door

**A/N: Wow, chapter ten...that's a personal record! YAY!  
I don't really know is Ianto has a neighbour, but I thought it would be fun.  
Sorry to seem pushy, but poll votes are HUGELY appreciated.  
Without Further ado-  
Further Ado- There is none.  
Enjoy!**

**Chapter Ten: The Woman Next Door**

**______________________**

Jack squirmed.

He was on his back with his arms holding his legs in a twisted and painful fetal position.

He made a mental note that Ianto needed a new coat with bigger pockets.

Hopefully though, he wouldn't have to act on that.

The top of the pocket opened up.

"Stop that, people are going to notice." Ianto whispered. Jack sighed and nodded.

Ianto continued down the hall of his apartment building.

"Ianto, were you just talking to your pocket?" The man turned to see a woman in her mid twenties with dark red hair done up in a pony tail staring at him. He cursed quietly.

"No Andrea, I was on my…blue tooth and my co-worker asked me if…I had her car keys." He lied. "Nice girl but drinks a little too much."

Andrea Lewis raised an eyebrow skeptically, then walked pass Ianto and into her apartment. He let out a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding.

Quickly, he opened his own door and slid in. He reached into his pocket and pulled Jack out.

"You've got to stop that." He said. Jack squirmed again.

"Who's Andrea?" He asked as he tried to get out of Ianto's grip.

"My neighbor, she's a little suspicious of me because of my odd work hours."

"Really? I don't think we're together that late…"

Iantosmiled slightly. "Just don't squirm around her and we can save some Recton." The Tea-boy said as he placed the Capitan on a small table.

Ianto turned and wandered into the kitchen, Jack looked over the side of the table. It wasn't too far of a drop.

Just as he was about to jump down, Ianto came out of the kitchen. He grabbed Jack around the waist and held him up to eye level.

"Nice try."


	11. Ch 11: Revelation

**A/N: This is short, sorry! I've been having major writer's block with this one lately.  
Enjoy!**

**Chapter Eleven: Revelation**

**______________________________**

"This is amazing!" Martha exclaimed as she looked over Jack's blood work and x-rays.

"What is?" Gwen asked as she entered the medic bay.

Martha turned and tapped the x-ray.

"You know that our molecules actually have large gaps between them, right?"

Gwen nodded.

"Well, it seems that the spaces between Jack's have been greatly reduced, therefore his mass has shifted and-"

Gwen looked at her as if she were speaking another language.

"In short, less molecule spaces means less Jack."

"Oh." Gwen said.

"Also, his entire internal system…well, been minimized! His heart, bones, organs, all of it, and it's working just like someone of Jack's age should."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "You know what a century old immortal's internal system is supposed to look like?"

Martha blushed out of embarrassment. "Well, no, but you know what I mean."

Gwen nodded.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"So, Martha, can you fix Jack then?"

"That's something we need to talk about," She started. "I don't know for sure yet, but if Jack's immortal genes begin to accept the change in size, we may never be able to reverse this."


End file.
